A Year Ago I Came Home

I was really bad about posting my South Africa experiences. But it doesn't matter. The main things that matter--I went, I experienced and I came home. A year ago today, I came home.

While I was there I experienced so much. Children who had nothing. Adults who had nothing. An entire community that lived divided by race--a community whose children were being taught another way to live. The sick received help. The hungry received food. The broken started healing. The poor (which was almost everyone we encountered) found small victories that made them rich.

Our last morning before the flight, we were asked what we learned or what we didn’t expect to learn and did anyway. My answer was simple. I felt like people hoped this trip would teach me so much about myself and make my passions clearer. I came and experienced everything with that expectation. I was so tired of being lost and I had been for months. BUT I didn't get any of that.

I did get a reminder about life, about the things I knew and had forgotten somewhere along the way. That was the place to start. The other thing I learned is that I want to passionate about what I’m doing. I watched the Life Skills Educators (regular people who went into schools and taught abstinence, health, and everything that you can't learn in school) and they gave up everything for the kids and teens they in their communities. They do it  because they are passionate. I knew from that moment in the living room that was how I wanted to  live my life. I didn't want to do things just because it's easy

This is Snazzle. She's my fave girl ever!

or where I am or whatever,  but because I’m passionate about those things.
 
I spent the whole 28 hours of travel thinking about that question: What was I passionate about?

I can't remember how long it took me to get the answer: writing. I honestly don't remember much about coming home except being so utterly disgusted with my life. There was nothing joyful in it. Nothing I liked about where I was (except the people) and nothing I liked about myself. I was so miserable--and worse, I'd decided there were no other options for me and I'd become comfortable in the misery. Misery is a warm blanket. It wraps itself around you until you're so hot and twisted in it you can't get out of it.

A year ago I came home. And then, I started a journey. I'll post that one tomorrow.