It's like One Fish, Two Fish...but Two Voices, No Voices, Death!

I have a new WIP. By "I have" I mean I have a few paragraphs--really, really good ones--and two characters who have names and an outline that one character yelled at me for a day until I wrote it down. Now, I stare at that outline and those paragraphs and wonder: WTF is going on?!?!?

It's weird. I'm not an outliner. I'm not someone who tends to plot a whole story before I write but this time, that's what happened.  I keep staring at those words and wondering how it all happens and what I'm supposed to say. The biggest problem right now are the characters. They are really annoying me.

Why? Let me tell you.

Well, when #1 (whose name I thought was E) started talking to me, her voice was strong and vividly descriptive. I could hear her yelling out in the crowded space. Then, I heard #2 (named A). I wrote everything down as #1 told me--and I was excited. Then, I kept writing and I realized that #1 and #2 were really the same person--and she wasn't the one I thought she was. From then on, there has been only confusion.

Where is #1? The story is about #1 so shouldn't her voice be there? But she's not. And I can't figure out why. I thought then maybe I was wrong and the story really was about #2. So, I asked and played around and discovered, it still about #1. Again, I ask: WTF?

The problem continued when I learned that #1 (A in this scenario in case you are lost) had two voices. How is that possible? A character can't have two voices! A character can only have one voice, one distinct voice. Yet, she has two voices and try as I can, it's unchanging.

So to recap: I have a character with no voice. I also have a character with two voices. Can't you see why I'm crazy? This is semi-ridiculous. It is going to be the death of me.

What happens now?

Well, no I'm researching. Not voices, but the other part of the story. The part that drives me to Google and to the library---where I find very little information and what information I do find, leads me only to more information. Sounds fun, huh? It is. Really,  I love it. I love it because I believe--somehow, someday, someway--the voices will get figured out, the information will be there and the story will be incredible. I can say that because I know the outlined story--and that is good. These girls have something to say and they will say it.

In the meantime, I will research. I will angrily yell at #2 and politely coax, the voice of #1 to the surface. And, after a while, they will.

I share this story because I wonder if you've ever had this problem. And if you have, please tell me that it all worked out somehow. Unlike those little fish,  I can't swim.

Let's have an editing picnic!

I was going to give myself a picnic today in the grass but I woke up to rain. My plans were thwarted and I had to redo everything, which is exactly like editing. You have a plan, words, a story and then you have to change it all. It's not always fun but has potential, like a picnic. (See how I pulled that out of thin air?!) Let's call it something fun in the midst of something not as fun.

I want to talk about editing, not that I have much experience but I have some. I went to sleep late last night after an awesome feedback (in overview form) with my CP. We don't really know how being a Crit Partner works but we're trying a way that we think will work for us. First, we read the whole MS. That's really important before you start tearing it to shreds with smiles. We needed to know what happened. Last night, unexpectedly, we told each other our major thoughts/questions/concerns, etc. It went really well. We both pointed out the things that other person already suspected. That, friends, is how you know you have a good CP. That, and the fact that both of you can handle what the other is saying.

Now, we will start chapter-by-chapter edits. We're doing them 3-4 at a time until we get them all done. That way, it's not overwhelming for either of us. (X, being the smart person she is, took notes about what happened in each chapter of my story so she could reference it. I wasn't that smart.) It's an exciting part of the process. I'm sure things are about to change in each of our stories.

We talked to someone else last night about being part of our group but in the end, it's not going to work out. It's sad that we didn't grow but we've only been together a week now and we work well together. I'm really excited to see how my story changes and develops through this process. I have complete faith that, despite all the up-coming pain, it will be totally worth it. 

Also, since we are on the subject, this post is awesome. Really, most of her stuff is--like her post about Crit Groups. I read her blog and she always passes on some really great wisdom. (Natalie, if you are out there: Be my friend.) If you a writer of any kind--especially if you are about start edits--then you need to read this. It's very, very true and very helpful. This post was also added after I updated but it's definitely worth sharing. I guess editing is on everyone's minds today.

If you are in the editing stage, please tell me how it's going! I'm always interested in other people's processes....and CP's. Have a happy Thursday! (I LOVE Thursdays, don't you!?)

I finished!!!!

I don’t know what words to use to describe what I am currently feeling. Tumultuous is the word I used on twitter. It means “excited, confused.” That’s pretty accurate. I feel like I worked and worked so hard on this. I poured my time and my soul into and there were days I felt like I would never finish it. Ever. There were lots of those days and I questioned if this was where I needed to be.

But typing those last words in that last scene, that was exhilarating. It was like…well, I can’t explain it but if you’ve written then you’ll understand. It’s so exciting being finished, seeing those last words come out of your brain onto the screen and then when it’s done…my brain kept screaming, “It’s done. It’s done!” followed by some exclamatory expletives of disbelief. That lasted for about twenty seconds.

Then. Then, it’s the horror. “I’m done. Holy s*** I’m done.” and “People have to read this now.” and ‘No one will like this.” and “What will I do now?”

Yup. It’s joy and then it’s sadness, not sadness but like a hollow feeling.

My first words to my CP, Christina, were excited and then, “I’m ready to edit.” (Yes, I have a Crit Partner! Exciting isn’t it??)

So, now starts part two. Tomorrow I will eat a cupcake, send some emails to my readers and try not look at my MS for a week. I need to step away and take a break so I can jump in with new eyes and new ideas. The work is just starting. I’m not naive enough to think it’s anywhere near perfect but hopefully, it will get there.

Tumultuous. It feels good.

I'm not ready

I wanted a fresh start in a place where no one knew me, where I could start over with a new focus on writing–and just writing. On the process, on the journey. On the…well, everything professional. So, I did it. I came here from my long-time, personal home at Wordpress because this is where all the trendy people are.

I've been doing a lot of doubting. It's hard to leave your home (wordpress or WV) and go somewhere new (Blogger/Boston). So when you read this, know that I want to be a professional but I’m not. I’m just a girl, trying something, trying to connect to a world I love–and I’m slightly failing. At least, I feel like I am. What do I have to offer the world of aspiring writers besides frustration and doubt? Nothing. Nothing really...but doesn't every author start that way?


Anyway, I'm taking a hiatus. I’m not ready attempt to dole out wisdom where it is not had. Not yet. Maybe, MAYBE, when I finish the first draft. But, then….maybe not. I don’t know. Right now, I’m…I don’t know.


As for this blog, I'll be back. I think...When it's time. Right now, I'm busy. I'm moving. I'm writing. I'm not sleeping. And more, I'm not ready to balance three blogs. So, we'll see other later...


Hopefully when we meet again, I will have a first draft, completed and rough. And happy.

SO excited

The evening of emotional disappointment was counter-acted today after a breakfast with my family and talks of finally getting a new car. Glory.

To make it even better--probably the best EVER better--I got my first ARC in the mail. *insert many types of squeals* It is DESIRES OF THE DEAD by Kimberly Derting, the 2011 sequel to THE BODY FINDER. It's so exciting for a few reasons.

1. I feel important enough to be given an ARC. Maybe it's not a big deal to most but it IS a big deal--especially since it follows the aforementioned vlog.

2. I loved TBF.

3. It's SO early, considering it's not released til March 11.

4. It's encouraging. This for all the other reasons I listed, but more because it gives me hope. I need all of that I can get.

Vlog and random thoughts

Vlog
I got to participate yesterday in a really cool Vlog. It's an author vs. blogger debate about what makes a good love interest. It was fun and I was delighted to be part of it! (Though in hindsight, i would've linked the book review blog and not this one. Whatever.)

Check it out here. (Sorry. I don't know how to post a video. I tried but I'm clueless.)

Random thoughts

I swear, I never want to be that girl. You know, the one who complains. I have so many GOOD things happening. Writing is going well and should be finished in a few more chapters! I'm moving to a great city with lots of opportunity. I have great friends. I will get to make new friends soon. I have a job and a car and lots of books to keep me happy. Yet, today, this evening, has been one of those days.

Those days when I feel crazy. I'm preparing (trying to) for the big move and it's overwhelming. I woke up this morning with my left eye all watery, ew. That's been tremendous fun. I am ADD and emotional about everything else. Today is a day of unneeded doubting, second-guessing, wondering if I'm completely wasting my time, if I will ever have IT and complete indecisiveness.

It all started when I held in my hand two books and left with neither; and then all I wanted was season 2 of How I Met Your Mother, which I couldn't find anywhere in town, and instead almost bought "Remember Me" but couldn't because looking at the box made me have an emotional breakdown in the store with my mother. Oh, Rob Pattz. It's his fault. Always.... Sigh.

That's all my complaining. See? Not too bad. Am I alone world? Anyone else feel this way?

In other news. Boston. SO excited about that chapter.

Helllooooooo July.

This month is full of promise. I'm glad to welcome it. It means a few important things to me.

1. I get to check in on Sam and Grace. What? Linger comes out. I've been waiting and waiting. I'm pumped!

2. It marks the one month deadline for me to finish the first draft of my novel. This needs to officially be finished on August 4. It's a daunting task, and now there is one month to finish it, I feel the pressure. This is a deadline I set for myself long ago and I'd hate to push it back. I only have, according to my outline, five and a half chapters to write. This, of course, changes and I never follow my outlines BUT I'm hopeful. I'm dedicated. I'm focused. I'm ready. I'm...positive? I'm in need of encouraging voices pushing me forward.

3. I'm moving to Boston. It's true! It's all happened very quickly and I'm still processing everything. Yet, it is true. And, this is the first time I have announced it so you lucky folks are now insiders. Shhhhhhhhh...don't tell yet. Twitter doesn't know.

4. Did I say I had to finish my first draft in one month? Because I do.

July is going to a big month. I'm sure there are many, many important things that are happening and I forgot to list but that's ok. It's 1:30 am. I'm exhausted.

What about you? What exciting things does July hold for you?