Stepping Away and Starting Over

I am writing three books right now. And revising - or soon to be revising - three other books right now.  Plus playing editor for all my fantastic authors! And working.

I'm a little crazy right now.

I didn't plan to be writing three books, but here we are. I guess in my defense, I am only actually writing one, book two of the trilogy. The other two books (SALT 2 and my love affair nicknamed SUPERB) I am crazy-detail outlining. I'm doing this while I wait for edits on DAYS (my newly finished MS), FMTD and SALT. And while it seems crazy to be writing so many things at once, I have never done it before and it's oddly satisfying.

And wow, second books are scary. (And exciting!) (But also scary.)

WAY back in October, I wrote this post that my WIP for Boundless 2 didn't feel right. Then, in December, my editor politely helped me see that the almost-finished version of B2 was best suited for the trash. She said to me, "I don't think this is the right story," and I knew she was right. I have to admit that while throwing out 60k words was a hard loss, but this weekend I started writing it anew (after some intense plotting) and I know after only being three chapters into this new draft that starting over was a great decision.

Before I could dive in, I knew I needed to step away. I was so frustrated at that draft that I was burnt out. I didn't want to write because it was so hard (mostly due to the fact that I was telling the wrong story.) I didn't want to start over, right or not. Plus, I started Follow Me Through Darkness in 2010. I'd lived in that world for years, with reprieve only during SALT, and I for the sake of sanity and quality I needed a break.

I had this other project sitting in my head and deadlines that run through early 2014, so it was the only chance I had to write something else. From December to April, I wrote DAYS (not real title.) DAYS is totally, totally different. A contemp from dual POV and out of my comfort zone but it did a really great thing: it reminded me why I love writing. It gave me joy again, brought me comfort, excitement and sparked something awake while the world of B2 took a rest.

DAYS is with my CPs and now I have started outlining SALT2 and SUPERB. I don't really have time to write SUPERB, but it is this great love of my heart that keeps me going when I need to switch gears from B2 or need help getting out of that Neely's head. (She is intense.)

The great thing about taking a break before I started writing B2 has been that I now see things more clearly. Aspects of the world that I forgot or didn't see before are vibrant. Two months stands between FMTD & B2 so sometimes I have to look back on the first book and see what happened, which is what a reader has to do and why authors add those recaps of previous books. Neely has changed a lot in those two months. I feel, that since I have changed too, it's easier to connect with her. Plus, I actually just started but I have 16k because there are things from previous drafts that I get to keep!

Sometimes things seem overwhelming -- like throwing out a whole book -- but don't underestimate the directions they will take you. Or the people who suggest them. Especially if it's your editor! Editors know what they are doing! Trust him/her/them. You are a team.

And as far as writing: it always has to be for you. This is what I am learning. Yes, I have deadlines and I'm not going to miss them, but I can write other things too. When writing stops being enjoyable, then it translates into the story you are writing. So find joy, be happy, have fun, write!

Oh, and enjoy these gifs...because everything is better and happier with Dean Winchester.

Again...

I was trying to work on my WIP today, because I have much to write and not much time to do it. And it's been going really badly. It's frustrating, when you want to write and can't seem to figure out the story or focus or anything. And it's especially sad when that time is during NaNo, a month devoted to writing.  I went into this with high hopes and determination.

Then all the things started happening.

And guys, they are potentially good things - nay, great things - but I can't keep up. I start a new job tomorrow, move on Saturday to a new place, am adjusting to living with a whole new set of people, edits come back for my editing projects, and there's a whole bunch of additional stuff that I can't even talk about.

I'm feeling a little like I'm not going to win at NaNo. I was beating myself up about it today, when Patricia reminded me that I'm in transition - and I suck in transitions.

Usually, I find myself a) procrastinating b) unable to write c) reading a lot of books since I can't do 'b' d) watching too much TV to help with 'a' e) over-thinking everything.

This is where I am right now. While the transitions are exciting they are very distracting.

At only four days into NaNo, I'm trying to believe I can do it. I'm going to write when and what I can, and let go of the words I don't get. Either way, words are words. And participating in NaNo while all my friends and my community is part of it, that's a whole lot of fun. :)

Hope everyone's off to a great start!

Me, I'm off to transition. (Again!)

In which MY BOOK IS BEING PUBLISHED

I sat down and had all these ideas of what I was going to say because I've known about this for like 3 weeks and I was busy--but MY BOOK IS BEING PUBLISHED!!!! is sort of all I can think right now! FOUR YEARS of working toward this, and I'm floored.

Here's the official PM:

Danielle Ellison's FOLLOW ME THROUGH DARKNESS, in which a girl escapes a controlled community and races through a forgotten world in hopes of saving everyone she loves before time runs out and their existence is wiped away, to Kate Kaynak and Patricia Riley at Spencer Hill Press, in a nice deal, in a three-book deal, for publication in April 2014, by Rebecca Mancini of RightsMix (World).

So, how did this happen? Everyone knows I'm an editor at Spencer Hill Press, but I subbed my book to Kate before she brought me on. I'm excited to publish with SHP because I know how much Kate and our team believes in the books we launch--and it's amazing to be one of our authors!

Time for my book story. (I've always wanted to do this!!)

I started FOLLOW ME THROUGH DARKNESS in 2010, right after I moved to Boston. I was working at a Borders as a barista, and I was putting away new stock when I heard this voice in my head repeating this one line: "There’s never enough time. It moves too quickly, signaling the end of everything. The end is the thing I fear the most." I put things away as quickly as possible, grabbed a handful of napkins, and took my lunch early so I could write. It was a scene--just one and that was all I needed to know I had figure out the story. I didn't have even have names. (I ended up writing like 30k before I got the MCs name, just as a sidenote.)

In 2010, I did NaNoWriMo with that book, which had a title called Silhouettes. (Horrible, I know!) I finished it eventually, revised with Christina, queried seven agents and had five requests. All of them came back like "uh, no," (only nicer!) and one of them gave me fantastic information on how to do approach a revision.

I set out on a quest to fix the book because I believed in Neely (she's the MC) and her story. I tried to walk away, to tell other stories, but I kept coming back. I knew there was something there, but I had to figure out the structure (so hard!) and the stakes. Over the next two years I would revise this book, workshop this book, rewrite this book, rewrite, restart, rewrite. SEVEN revisions.

Christina and Patricia were so insanely helpful in developing my characters, helping with the structure of such a heavy story, and keeping me focused on the story when I complained. (You can follow this tag if you're curious about real-time posts.) They were probably so tired of reading it, of re-thinking things, but they always encouraged me to keep going--them and more people than I can start to list here. I literally finished draft six in February of 2012, right before I subbed to Kate. (Then, of course, I had to revise again.)

I queried--new book, new title--and had some requests, but ultimately, the market was flooded with "dystopian," and even though countless agents loved my novel, it was all a timing issue. (I mean, two years will do that!) So, I shelved it, locked my characters away in a closet, and moved on.

About a month ago, I got an email from Kate saying she wanted to talk about the book. I waited for two agonizing days and then she told me she loved it! It was awesome to hear that from Kate, because I respect her opinion, and obviously, this book is a huge part of my soul. She told me that she wanted me to fix some things (revision #8!!!) and then send it back. So, I did---and she bought it!! I asked Kate if Patricia could work on it too, since she knows this story so well. It's so great that she gets to be hands-on with my book; we work well together and she's going to do amazing things for this series. :)

And well, here we are!!

It has not been an easy journey--they never are--but I've learned so much about writing, patience, good friends, community. There are so many people who encouraged me over the last two years; I'm really excited to share this book with all of you!!!! Woooo!!!

April 2014----here we come!! Me and my book!!!

*runs off to stare at the PM listing some more*