Showing posts with label Life Happens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Happens. Show all posts

11.22.2012

Thankfulness

Since today is Thanksgiving -- HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! -- I thought I should write a list of what I'm thankful for. See, November has been really draining on me, so getting to look at the good things that happened aside from this month, well that's something I'm already thankful for. Maybe it can be a new start today that drives me past all the crap. Here's some of the things I'm thankful for!

  1. That my book is being published!! (In two years, but hey, yay! I can be thankful for it for another Thanksgiving.) 
  2. My amazing real life friends.
  3. My insanely awesome twitter friends.
  4. Twitter. 
  5. My sister 
  6. Patricia and family - for letting me spend my summer in the basement
  7. this new adventure in DC-area
  8. My new nanny family
  9. Spencer Hill Press
  10. Kate Kaynak - who let me start this journey as an editor that I love. (and be published!)
  11. My  #TeamDani SHP authors, who trust me and teach me so much every single day. They seriously are why I love my job. They have contagious passion, fear, hope, challenge and love of writing, of publishing, of characters that's inspiring. I love them! 
  12. Boston (because while you sucked some, you taught me a lot)
  13. my family
  14. That I get to create worlds and stories and meet characters
  15. Coffee
  16. MY JOB. All three of them. (writer, SHP editor, nanny/housekeeper.) Seriously. 
  17. The SHP interns. :) 
  18. A car that is not mine but that I drive - whew!
  19. Hope.
  20. 2013 and all the new adventures that I don't even know about yet. 
That's my shortlist! What are some things that YOU are thankful for?!?!?!

Enjoy your day! 

11.04.2012

Again...

I was trying to work on my WIP today, because I have much to write and not much time to do it. And it's been going really badly. It's frustrating, when you want to write and can't seem to figure out the story or focus or anything. And it's especially sad when that time is during NaNo, a month devoted to writing.  I went into this with high hopes and determination.

Then all the things started happening.

And guys, they are potentially good things - nay, great things - but I can't keep up. I start a new job tomorrow, move on Saturday to a new place, am adjusting to living with a whole new set of people, edits come back for my editing projects, and there's a whole bunch of additional stuff that I can't even talk about.

I'm feeling a little like I'm not going to win at NaNo. I was beating myself up about it today, when Patricia reminded me that I'm in transition - and I suck in transitions.

Usually, I find myself a) procrastinating b) unable to write c) reading a lot of books since I can't do 'b' d) watching too much TV to help with 'a' e) over-thinking everything.

This is where I am right now. While the transitions are exciting they are very distracting.

At only four days into NaNo, I'm trying to believe I can do it. I'm going to write when and what I can, and let go of the words I don't get. Either way, words are words. And participating in NaNo while all my friends and my community is part of it, that's a whole lot of fun. :)

Hope everyone's off to a great start!

Me, I'm off to transition. (Again!)

11.22.2011

Where Life Is

There's this balance that should exist between where life is and where life isn't and where you want life to be.


Where life is.

I went on goodreads today and saw that I was only 76 books toward my 100, my heart dropped a little. That's more than I read last year, but I started out doing so well.  I really wanted to reach 100. But with only a month remaining in 2011 (CRAZY!) and a novel that needs finishing and a lot of things happening between now and New Year's, it's probably not going to happen.

Life is busy. Not that I am alone in that. I'm not. But between work and writing. Between roommates and friends. Between hours of Dean and Sam Winchester calling to me and time spent with Prince Charming and a creepy horror house. Between the desire to read all the things and sleep. Between blogging ideas and story ideas. Between Tumblr and Twitter and survival. There is me, trying to do it all, trying to prepare and decide and save.

That's where life is for me.


It's so close to everything, but just far enough away that I can't reach it. I'm not saying that's a bad place to be. It simply is where I am. I'm experiencing this shift in passions. It's a little jarring how things are changing in the midst of all the things.

Where life isn't.

Here.

Honestly, I'm at this crossroads right now, where I know the decision I need to make--where I've pretty much already made a decision--but now it's finding the best time to implement the decision. Does that make sense?

It's like knowing you need to pull over the car, you need to turn around, but it's a one lane road uphill at nighttime and you can't do it. Or there's a median and you can't make a u-turn. That's how I feel sometimes. Like I'm just waiting for an opportunity. For something to happen or not to happen. For the chance to pull over. But then you've gone so far that you don't even know how to pull over anymore. Or you can't remember what direction you needed to go in once you did pull over. And how do you figure it out?

 I don't know if that makes sense. Maybe it's just an analogy that lives in my head so it makes sense to me.

I really do love my life. I love most of the things I'm doing--and I'm doing them well. I have great friends. But there are a few things that seem off. A few things I can't seem to escape or stop or find a way out of because I have a line-up of commitments that I can't cancel at this point. It puts a damper on turning around, on quitting them.

Life, in these situations, isn't where I want it to be. And I'm just driving the car, waiting for the best opportunities so I can change them.

Where I want life to be.

I don't know the answer to this.

Where do I want life to be? I was talking my roommate Derrick about what I want. A life plan, I called it. I don't really make life plans. Life isn't something you can plan. But I think I have a plan. I want three things.

To be somewhere I love. Doing something I love. With good people I love.

In some aspects I have all this. I guess you could configure all of them to be realities. Because they are.

But then I think about where life isn't. I think about the things I don't want anymore and how I can't escape them. And I get bogged down. I get overwhelmed. I want to quit driving, quit trying to find a place to turn around, and see what happens. But I can't do that. I'm not that person.

The balance.

I don't really know the point of this post. I guess sometimes you just need to share what you're feeling and see if there's anyone out there who understands.

I'm not complaining. I'm just...pensive. Life is ours to live. We should live it.

Part of this about writing, probably as much as my life. I'm in that place in my WIP where something needs to happen. Where these next 10k really, really push my book in one way or in another. That's a hard and overwhelming place because you're looking at all the options, at all the possibilities and the way it could play out. You're fighting all the shiny new ideas and pushing through. Because you know, once you pass this 10k, things will fall into place. You get to end it all.

But the in-between. That's a tough place. It's go time. It's now or never time. It's the point where everything hangs in the balance and you have to choose. You have to choose. To act. To do. And sure, you can go back and change things, but you know everything affects everything else.

Writing is a balancing game. Life is a balancing game.

Hope and desire and hard work is a balancing game.

Everything is or isn't or could be.


Exciting. Scary.

Balanced.

7.22.2011

Open Call to Someone Awesome

Are you a lover of YA books??

Do you want a place to talk about them??

Do you follow this blog??

Are you someone who has initiative and takes the lead?

If I asked you random questions could you answer them without being nervous? Do you KNOW how random my questions can be??

Do you like the word "awesome" and know what someone means when they mention the TARDIS? 

If you answered YES to these questions (the TARDIS one aside) then you might be the someone awesome I am looking for. In which case I urge you to keep reading! 
If not....well, you can keep reading too. 

Okay. So here's the deal. I wasn't really sure if I wanted to share this in such a public way, but here we are. This is a big step for me, it's something I don't like to do a lot (or ever if I can avoid it) but I know I must. Here goes.

I need some help around here.

This is an idea I've been toying with for a while. I love this blog. If you read it all I think I've said that a thousand times. I would love to share some of the joy I've had from it with someone else. So, I've been thinking for a while. And now that grad school has started up, the YASpooktacular is approaching and a sekrit project is happening (not to mention my job, my house and my novel) it's become one I need to act on. Plus, I was bed-ridden all week with some weird summer plague and it put me behind. There are a million reasons. The main one is none of those though...

I need help. Do you want to help?

All those questions I asked you up there--I meant them. If someone out there reading this wants to talk with me about helping run this blog--EVEN if it's just until Christmas!--I would love to talk with you. I have stipulations. (Of course I do, I'm a lister.) It's a short list.

This can't be about getting ARCs. Quite simply, I don't have them to give to you. I have some that I got at BEA but they aren't coming to my doorstep or anything. Don't expect that. That's not why I blog and it certainly can't be why you blog.

This must about your love of books. That's pretty simple. If you love books--if you can talk about them (and their authors and readers) in a respectful way, then that is awesome. This blog. This entire community is about connecting. If you want to be part of it, then I want you here. If you love this blog and want to step up, then I want you here. It's a passion thing. I'm all about passion.

Now it's up to you. I was going to do a fancy form and all, but I'm not. If you are interested in helping out for a few months (or maybe forever!) then EMAIL ME. That's all I need right now.

If no one does, then don't worry lovelies. Frenzy of Noise is not going anywhere. I'm just deciding to extend my hand to someone else. Because who knows, maybe there's someone out there who wants to blog and doesn't know where to start. Or maybe there's someone who's never thought it before. There could be a whole lot of someones out there who are reading this and never even really thought about it. Well, here's a chance. THIS is the main reason I'm asking.

Email me. It's not a commitment from you--it's merely a conversation. If you can be sure of nothing else be sure of this: it will be a fun one! 

6.23.2011

All The Things

There is so much to tell you lovelies. So much because my life is sort of like this post. Only not as funny.

1) I spent the weekend in the DC area with my CP Christina--who is awesome and wonderful and fantastic. (I already knew that but when you get to meet in person it's 10000x better.) AND my other writing buddy Patricia. We had a fantastic time together. (And I'm doing two secret projects with Patricia. Both are exciting. One involves writing. That's all I can say right now. But yes.)



2) I'm only a nanny for a matter of WEEKS. Weeks. Crazy. Scary. Excited because my brain is about to explode from All The Things. And, lovelies, the end of that means I'm living on couches and in spare beds for a few weeks. I have no idea what happens next so don't ask me!

3) I can not stop singing this song!! (Plus, Adam is hot. Gah. Take me away please.)



4) I met Maggie Stiefvater last week. I'm sorry that I forgot to tell you. She was very sweet.

5) I just read this book. And it was SUPER AWESOME. Anyone else? Go buy it and let's discuss!




6) I'm plotting my WIP. It's exhausting. Never ending. So exciting! I can't wait to write again. It feels like it's been forever. FOREVER.

7) GRAD SCHOOL IS HERE. I start on Friday and don't end until July 2. I'm so excited/nervous/wondering what the heck I was thinking. With that said, I'm in class all day every day. I'll be having some guest posts and some reviews coming up over the nine days. I know you will enjoy what they're all going to contribute and I hope you leave them lots of comment-love.

Tell me....

What's going on with you??

4.25.2011

Writing in the Fire Swamp

Sometimes, you get stuck. And I'm talking "sinking in the mud in the middle of the woods and there's no one to help you out" stuck. This has been me lately--in my current novel and in many aspects of my life. I feel like I'm in a transition period (I utterly hate transitions, yet I seem to always be in one.) With this book, I've been tottering on the edge of quitting and the edge of determination. I've been stuck in the middle.

And for some reason, it made me want to watch The Princess Bride. So I did--and I realized something pretty awesome: writing a book is just like treading through the Fire Swamp. (If you're not a writer, I also think this applies to life.)

The Fire Swamp is filled with three terrors, which Buttercup and Westley must face in order to make it to safety of Westley's ship. What are the three terrors? Flame spurts, lightning quicksand (also called Snow Sand) and the Rodents of Unusual Size. All three of these are something you will face in life and/or in writing.

Flame Spurts: Unexpected Pain


At first, you don’t know what to expect when you hear the popping sound. Then fire spurts up from the ground. And bam—Buttercup's dress is on fire and she and Westley are trying to put it out. The first thing Westley asks Buttercup in this scene is if she’s hurt. She’s not. But now there’s the realization that this place they fled to for safety has the potential to be very painful.

Sometimes things hurt when you’re writing. Scenes are tough and emotional. You have to kill a character. Your MC makes a dumb decision. You have to cut the scene you really, really love because it doesn’t work. The fire spurt in writing can be anything; whatever that thing is for you, it is hard for a reason. Writing has the potential to be very painful.

A quote from the movie (my favorite ever) is from Westley before all this happens. He says "Life is pain. Anyone who says different is selling something."

Things will happen that you don't expect. You'll be burnt by someone or something at some point. You'll be tired and scared, but I think that's good. The heroines know when they see the flames, that this is not going to be as easy as they believed, that they have to be on guard. And the potential for pain, the prospect of being hurt, “keeps you on your toes” as Westley says in that scene.

The fire spurts are necessary so you can prepare yourself for those things that will hurt. Because writing is hard. Living is hard. You need to know that going in so you can be ready. It will not be an easy journey.

Lightning Sand: Unexpected Sinkholes


Great! Westley and Buttercup survived the pain. Awesome. He told her all about where he's been and life’s all good—that is until Buttercup is sucked under into some hole that she didn’t see.

This is the Lightning Sand. Sometimes in writing you get stuck—and you don’t see it coming. In fact, you NEVER see it coming or you would fix it before it happened. You get to this place in a story where you realize it's not moving. The things that were happening aren't anymore. The direction is confused; motivations are off; there's this whole scene you didn't think of and now there's a hole. And "Crap, how do I fix this?"

When Buttercup falls into the sand, Westley fixes the problem immediately. He grabs on to a vine and jumps in. He saves Buttercup and pulls her out. But there’s this moment in the movie right after he jumps in, when you’re waiting and it’s silent. You’re waiting to see what will happen—and when you’re feeling the pressure Westley and Buttercup return to view! They are out of breath but safe!

In writing—there are two options: jump in and move things around so you make it good again OR wait. I can’t tell you what you should do, but I know what I do: I wait. Waiting sucks. I am completely impatient; I hate silence, problems that linger, and no ideas. Those things make me nervous. I've learned is that it’s better if you take a moment to connect with your story, to talk about it with someone else, to see what happens if…and maybe you’ll find a way out of the hole. The worst part about that is waiting, but sometimes YOU HAVE TO WAIT. Especially when it's for a good thing.

There are other kinds of sinkholes. Ah-ha! Thought you escaped that one because you're not stuck in your story? Well, sorry. Let's say it's something else. What about querying? Submissions? Revisions? You have to wait for those things too. There's always something that will put you in a position where you have to wait. At the very least, it's a red light or the next train--and the same rules apply. Waiting will always, most undoubtedly suck. But you have to be brave and believe.

My favorite thing about this scene with the lightning sand is the very next moment.

Buttercup: We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Westley: No. We have already succeeded. What are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One: the flame spurts—but we know there’s popping sound before each one comes. Two: The lightning sand—and you just discovered what it looks like so we can avoid it next time.

Buttercup: What about the ROUSes?

Westley: Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.

Rodents of Unusual Size: Unexpected Struggles


Westley doesn't think they exist--and that's when one attacks him. Now, he has to fight it. It's survival. Westley or the ROUS.

This is the clincher. This is the part you never see coming. It’s the struggle, the stuff that comes AFTER you’ve fought all these other terrors. You get attacked from the outside. And you have to fight.

What do I mean by this? What are the ROUSes of writing? Everything.

Life is full of distractions. It's busy and you have to carve out time to write. You have to stay focused when there are thirteen things you need to do in the next hour. Distractions are a ROUS. But there are other things. A friend gets an opportunity that you don't. There's nothing happening in your inbox. You can't beat this scene. Someone else just signed a book exactly like yours. You have Shiny New ideas clawing away at your head.

All of these things are ROUSes. The ROUSes don’t want you to succeed; they want to consume. You must never let them. They are fighting for you. You can't stop fighting or you will lose. It's you or the ROUS. The hardest part of dealing with the ROUSes? Keeping up strength. Having hope. Staying sharp. Being patient. Believing. Believe in what Westley says—you’ve already succeeded if you’re this far because you’ve made it past all the other things.

Say you defeat the ROUS. Woo-hoo. Awesome. But don’t be fooled. There are many, many, many more things that you have to face. Just because the three terrors are past you doesn’t mean there aren’t more in front of you. Look at the movie. There are still kidnappers, an evil prince, a six-fingered man, torture, paralysis and a dual. It’s a constant battle. You can’t let your guard down for a second.

BUT in the end of the movie there’s happily ever after.

And when you're finished writing there's a book.

There's always something to show for all the pain, sinkholes and battle against ROUSes.

In fact, I saw this behind the scenes commentary piece about the Fire Swamp and someone said, “When you go in you don’t come out the same person.”

When you’re writing a book, it is going to change you. It will make you braver, make you stronger, give you hope, teach you more than you could ever imagine. Life will do the same thing.

The Princess Bride would be pretty boring without all the challenges, and if the characters didn’t have to fight for what they wanted. But they did. And so will you. In writing AND in life. Because this applies to both.

Be on guard. 
Be brave. 
Believe.
Don't be afraid of the Fire Swamp.

4.05.2011

Life Lessons from Geometry and Cookies (or Square Peg Syndrome)

I'm sitting here failing to write a book review. I have many I need to write, but the words just keep failing me. My brain is trapped in one mode: shapes.



Things are "simple" with shapes. Square. Triangle. Circle. Rectangle. Pentagon....What you see is what you get. Count the sides and there's no room for question. A square is a square is a square is a square...no matter the size or color or location.

But when you think about it--really think about it--it does matter. 

If you flip a rectangle over a few degrees, you get a diamond. If you make that loop in the circle a little too long, you get an oval. There are other types of triangles: obtuse, acute, right. I think math-people would say all those are very different things, even if they are essentially the same.

That's the whole point of this post: everyone is different. Every blog, every book, every writer is different. Even if they are essentially the same.

Why am I talking about this? A few reasons. (stick with me)

1) A friend and I were talking about contemporary books all having a similar rhythm and way with words. She said it was a formula that even paranormal books have. I keep trying to agree with that, and can't. Because the words and rhythm of Author A should be different than Author B, even if the stories are similar. Because they are different.

2) I stumbled in a conversation that someone only needed to read one blog--because they were all the same anyway. This, of course, is complete crap. (Sorry, person.) But every blog is different. Sure, they may share meme's and review the same books, but the opinions, ideas and voices of each person are so incredibly different.

3) My real-life community is in a transition (my whole life is it seems); we're going from a dream, a hope, a plan to a reality. And with that there are things that need to happen, roles that need to be filled, a place where everyone needs to fit. It's exciting! I love that it's all happening and I want to dive in and help. But the things they need help aren't things that I enjoy doing or really even want to do whole-heartedly. So, that makes me feel displaced, like a square peg that's trying to fit in a round hole.


I was thinking about ALL that. About how we put ourselves in these boxes. About how we make life this checklist and force all the things around us to fit into it. And it doesn't fit. But we shove anyway. We twist. We pull. We push. We trim. We shape. We want it to fit. And then we wonder why, in the end, we're tired and broken.
Here's why:  a square cannot be a circle.

Well, &%^#! What now? What do we do when we can't be the fill the kind of need that exists? When we can't be the type of blogger who brings in 15 bazillion unique visits in a day? When we aren't the kind of writer that makes words flow and dance and hearts stop beating and tears fall because the lines are so good?

You're right. We quit. We don't try to find a place to fit. We don't create something new. We stop existing and disappear.

I bet that's what Augustine Rodin did he got the idea for The Thinker...laughed and threw away the design because it was too different.

I bet that's what Oatmeal Raisin cookies did when they couldn't be Chocolate Chip--just stopped existing because they weren't good enough.


And when JK Rowling had an idea about a little magical boy named Harry with black hair, a scar and glasses, she completely scrapped that idea because it was too hard and too scary.

Oh wait...they didn't? You mean, The Thinker is one of the most famous sculptures of all time? And people actually eat Oatmeal Raisin cookies? And--what??--JK Rowling is like the twelfth richest woman and one of the most influential women in Britain?

Fine. But what does all this have to do with shapes and blogging and writing--I'm so confused?!

It has to do with this: BE YOURSELF.

We're taught that in elementary school, but somewhere along the way we forget. We become so obsessed with fitting into the mold, we forget that we are supposed to be different! We are different. Every person has something about them that's unlike anyone else, even if sometimes it seems essentially the same. No two people are alike. And you know that saying, "Opinions are like noses. Everyone has one." And they are all uniquely different.

So what if I can't find a place to serve and help that's exactly what I want to do. I can find something else! I can say hello to people and celebrate that a dream is becoming a reality. I can watch and wait and find a way to serve that fits me when it comes up. Me. A job no one else may see as a need until later. I matter there. 

So what if your blog only has 200 followers--that's awesome! Remember when it was you and your best friend and some random kid who entered a contest? You've come far! And no one comments on your reviews? Oh well. The four people that are reading them are listening to you. And that post you wrote last week, yea...that really affected someone. Remember that email? Don't doubt your blog because it's your voice. Yours.

SO WHAT if the words in your novel don't make you want to cry at every line. Who wants to cry at every line? Just write the book! Just tell the story. Let it suck...and then fix it. And take criticism. And then fix it. And fix it some more. And make the words flow. EVEN IF it doesn't sound like author A & B. I'd say that's good! I don't want all my books to sound the same. I don't all my characters to have a dead mother or a dead sister or a crazy boyfriend. I want different. That crazy aunt who talks to the flowers in her closet--I'd read that. Write it. Find your voice---YOURS. Not JK Rowling's. Not Cassie Clare's. Not Rachel Hawkins' or James Patterson's or your crit partner's. YOURS.

No one else can tell your story or fill your role. Only you. And if you don't do it--if you don't step up and be yourself and take a chance--then no one else will do it for you.

Not me because I can barely do it for myself.

Not that girl who doesn't know there's an entire world of blogs out there and she's missing out.

Not that agent who's waiting for a story just like yours.

Only you.

Everything has a place it belongs. And eventually, even the square finds a place to fit.


3.28.2011

Oh, vacation.

Hey lovelies, I'm on vacation! I was going to write a book review or do a vlog, but after a hundred attempts (Ok, maybe twenty) I give up. I was trying to figure out what to say. It came in out a letter.

Dear Vacation, 


You have been awesome. I've seen a lot of people and spent a lot of time with my mom and sister and best friend. I hung out with Leah Clifford. Went to my new family diner. Had a banana pudding milkshake from Chick-fil-a. (Lovely.) I've edited an entire MS (yay!) and done crits for a friend. I helped someone write a query, did a crazy amount of shopping for the new job, and slept. A lot.

Aside from the attack my eyes are under because of the family dog, a lingering headache, the inability to write or read anything, the lack of attention needed to write a book review AND the black hole that is WV--so much so that youtube won't upload my vlogs--this has been great. 

The only thing I would change about you? I'd slow you down. You are going incredibly fast. I only have three days left with my mom and my sister. Can we please slow down? Oh, and continue to be awesome. I'd really appreciate that.

Sincerely, me

So, when I'm home, I'll have an extraordinary amount of vlogs--and hopefully some book reviews. To all of you, have a good week! Don't forget to enter the Spring Cleaning Giveaway.


Go read a good book.

3.10.2011

When Reading Wasn't Homework...

I can remember when reading was fun.

Don't get angry. I love reading! But I remember when it was joyful thing.

It wasn't that long ago when I'd walk into work (because that's a bookstore), pick up a book with a pretty cover, be elated because the back sounded good and dive in. There's something about discovering a new world that's so filling. You're following this blog then you're a reader so you know. You pine for characters, yell and sigh at all the right moments. Then, when you're finished, you go back and find a new book.

I miss those days. I miss walking into a store and finding a new discovery.

Until I started blogging and jumped into the YA community, I went purely on instinct and read what sounded good. Now, when I find the new book, my first thought is: "I can't. I have too many to read." So I put it back--and unfortunately for me I have to stare at it every day when I'm at work and wonder what it's about. Sometimes, I never get to find out.

Don't misunderstand me.

This is not a complaining post. I'm completely floored everyday that I get to be involved in the YA community. This is where my friends are, my make-shift family. I wouldn't trade any of this or you for all the cupcakes in the entire world. Seriously. And I'm not going to quit blogging. I don't want anyone to think that. I just need you to listen, because this has been on my mind.

I have to read A LOT. I have to read as a blogger and write reviews that may not get a single comment. I have to read as a writer. I have to read as an indie bookseller. I need to be on my toes, to know what's coming out, to know the content, the story, who will like it and if we'll sell it the store.  I have to know what's coming out, so I have to read. I GET to read for work. How awesome is that? It's totally awesome. But sometimes, I get so overwhelmed by the reading. Sometimes, reading is more of a chore than fun.

Since I've been blogging, I've learned a ton about how all this works. I understand the importance of reading a book or an ARC and spreading the word about it. It's so important. And I don't--and won't-- write negative reviews. I am a writer. When this blog or my job disappear, I'll still be a writer. I want to be a person of integrity and for me, that means not writing negative reviews. I'm okay with that. I look at this way.  If I'm at work and I'm recommending a book, I'm going to recommend one I like. The ones I don't--unless someone asks me--I'm going to ignore. Why even bring up a "bad" book? This is the approach I'm taking. I'm talking about books I love for whatever reason. (That doesn't mean if you don't see a book here I hate it--just maybe I haven't gotten to it yet. Don't assume things people.)


Anyway, talking about books is a responsibility that I love having. But one thing I never, ever, ever want to do is be that "look at me" blogger. You know, the ones who have to have every title first and read it first and post it before everyone else does. Honestly, it's so exhausting. I have a stack of books I still need to read for this month--and I probably won't get through it. But I'll try. And I'll write comment-less reviews and share my opinion. I love doing that. If I didn't, then I wouldn't do it.

But.

I miss the freedom of reading. I miss getting to read what I want to read whenever I want to read it. I miss the time before how many hits I got on this or how many books I can read this year or how many comments I got on that post. (Guilty of all those things.) Those aren't the reasons I started this blog. In fact, any advanced copies I get are from work. I'm not a blog that many publishers recognize--and I'm totally okay with that. None of these reasons are why I'm here.

I started this blog because I wanted to share a) my writing life, which I don't do as much as I'd planned b) I have all these books in my head and all these thoughts with no one to tell and I needed an outlet (my head is crowded enough!) c) maybe someone would read about a book I loved or something I'm dealing with in my writing and learn or connect or discover something new. That was I started a blog. It was never to get books---I didn't even know how people did that. This was never going to be a book blog.

But it is. Of course it is! I'm a writer, a bookseller, a reader--it's my life. And that's okay. I have to read incredible amounts of books and  live a life surrounded by words, so I don't mind. In fact, I love it.


So what's the point of this post then?

To say that I want to love reading again. I want it to be fun and enjoyable--and less of a checklist or a chore or a rush to read books a, b & c before this date.

From now on, I'm reading the books I want to read. If I have something from a publisher that I need to read and review before release date--or if I've read something early--I'll post it to help promo. I want to help promote books. It's why I'm a bookseller--and a book blogger. But I don't want to race anymore. I don't want to pass on a book that sounds incredible because Mt. TBR is overflowing and six books come out this month. I'm going to read what I want to read. I hope that's okay with you. I hope you stick around--but if you don't want to, then you can leave.

I have this blog to share my struggles and my words and the words that pierce me with. That's what I do. Giveaways are fun, but my wallet is decreasing so those will be too. I don't want followers at the cost of reviews. I'd rather have six people who read, comment and share their thoughts with me than 256 who don't. Seriously.

Reading IS FUN. Blogging is fun. Writing is fun. The moment any of them become homework is the moment it should be re-evaluated.  That's what I'm doing. Re-evaluating. Telling you why I'm here and hoping it's why you're here. I'm going to be making some changes around here--so those are coming this month. I'm excited about them!

I feel better. I'm off to read a book THAT I WANT TO READ. And it doesn't come out until May. I'm excited. I hope you're still here when I get back, but if you're not, that's fine too.

3.07.2011

A Year Ago I Started a Journey

A year ago I ended a journey. And started a journey.

The day after I was home--the next day--I was told the trip was paid for. Remember? I said I only had half of the money. A friend from college surprised me and fronted the rest. I cried and cried. That was the moment I knew I really had to find a passion.

I don't think there was a "what is it?" process. I think I just started writing. I've always written, but somewhere along the way I got tired. With my first novel, I had all these snippets of scenes that I wrote at work over the first two weeks of being home. There were so many and none of them went together at all. A friend said to me, "just pick one and write it." So, I did.

Then I wrote a half a novel. Then, I stopped and re-wrote it. Then, I kept going.

It was somewhere in the re-writing stage on a day in early April (in fact--it was the day New Moon came out on DVD because I was at work at Borders) I met Myra. She came into the store and we (she, my boss Elizabeth and I) talked YA books. Then, we found out that she had a book coming out. And before the night was over, I said to her, "I just started writing a YA novel. I mean, I don't know what it means. I love writing. I don't know what to do. What do I do?" She told me to get on twitter and get involved. And I did.


You don't realize how much a single conversation will change the course or your life until it does. I mean, if I'd never met Myra that day I would've never used twitter correctly. All of April is a blur of #yalitchat and blog reading and writing my novel. That's how it started for me. She pulled me into a world of encouragement and amazing people. I felt like I could do something for the first time in my life. It was a good feeling.

When the floods came to Nashville in May, Myra introduced me to Victoria and Amanda. I've said in various places that those three women really taught me a lot. And they did. Perseverance. Hope. Possibilities. The importance of putting yourself out there, of trying. I can't tell you how awesome and unexpected their entrance into my life was--and how needed. In a way, the flood washed away all the bad I had in my life...because by the end of it all, I was loaded up and leaving. It was quick and unexpected, but I'd never felt more assured of a decision in my life. Leaving Nashville was hard and easy in the same breath.
 
Leaving a place that you didn't love is an easy thing to do. Leaving a place full of people you did love is a hard thing to do. You see the purpose in a place over time. Since I've been in Boston, I've learned the purpose of the misery I allowed myself to live in Nashville.

I was in Tennessee so I could my internship. I was at my internship so I could go to South Africa. So I'd be inspired. I had an internship that made me work--so  I could work at Borders--where I'd meet Elizabeth (my boss). She was the person who got me reading YA. So I could meet Myra, V and Amanda. So I could be on twitter. So I could be encouraged. So I could move to Boston and have a community before I even arrive.  All of that so I could write.

It's all entwined. Each moment, each decision, each conversation. A year ago I started a journey. I'm sure a year from now I'll be on a new one. I don't know what that looks like but I'm sure that it will one I'll never forget.

3.06.2011

A Year Ago I Came Home

I was really bad about posting my South Africa experiences. But it doesn't matter. The main things that matter--I went, I experienced and I came home. A year ago today, I came home.

While I was there I experienced so much. Children who had nothing. Adults who had nothing. An entire community that lived divided by race--a community whose children were being taught another way to live. The sick received help. The hungry received food. The broken started healing. The poor (which was almost everyone we encountered) found small victories that made them rich.

Our last morning before the flight, we were asked what we learned or what we didn’t expect to learn and did anyway. My answer was simple. I felt like people hoped this trip would teach me so much about myself and make my passions clearer. I came and experienced everything with that expectation. I was so tired of being lost and I had been for months. BUT I didn't get any of that.

I did get a reminder about life, about the things I knew and had forgotten somewhere along the way. That was the place to start. The other thing I learned is that I want to passionate about what I’m doing. I watched the Life Skills Educators (regular people who went into schools and taught abstinence, health, and everything that you can't learn in school) and they gave up everything for the kids and teens they in their communities. They do it  because they are passionate. I knew from that moment in the living room that was how I wanted to  live my life. I didn't want to do things just because it's easy
This is Snazzle. She's my fave girl ever!
or where I am or whatever,  but because I’m passionate about those things.
 
I spent the whole 28 hours of travel thinking about that question: What was I passionate about?

I can't remember how long it took me to get the answer: writing. I honestly don't remember much about coming home except being so utterly disgusted with my life. There was nothing joyful in it. Nothing I liked about where I was (except the people) and nothing I liked about myself. I was so miserable--and worse, I'd decided there were no other options for me and I'd become comfortable in the misery. Misery is a warm blanket. It wraps itself around you until you're so hot and twisted in it you can't get out of it.

A year ago I came home. And then, I started a journey. I'll post that one tomorrow.

2.27.2011

A Year Ago It Was Starting

A year ago Friday, I woke up in South Africa. Our house was on the beach near a town called Fish Hoek (that's not where we were, but it was down the road.) I woke up in the morning and smelled the water, listened to waves as I went to sleep, and the wind that is ever-present in South Africa's summer season. A year ago today, everything was starting.


I wrote at the end of day one: It’s a miracle that I even got to come here.

And it was. I mentioned that I didn't like where I was as an intern, but had I been anywhere else I never would've gotten to go. See, I only had half the trip paid for. I still had to pay about $1,600. I didn't have it, but they let me go anyway. Not many places would allow you to go on a trip that you hadn't paid for. If I had been anywhere else I would never have gone.

I also wrote this: I’ve been here less than 24 hours and I know that something big is happening around me.

We say things flippantly, not really gathering the full weight of the words. I'm pretty positive this was one of those moments. Before I went on the trip, people kept telling me not to waste it. I never planned to, but I didn't know what to expect. Yet I expected so many things. I expected to come back knowing my passions are A, B and C. I wanted to be able to say THIS (whatever A, B or C was) is my life calling, my purpose. I expected answers. But even in that expectation, I didn't know what that would be. It was a flippant expectation--and one that as I look back I spent so much time looking for--that I missed a lot of small things.

On day one, we got to explore the organization we were there to serve alongside. It's called Living Hope and they change lives. Completely transform lives. It's the embodiment of what it looks like to see a need and meet it. It’s something that you hear all about and so rarely see put into action. Living Hope is a ministry that gives people who have HIV/AIDS a chance to fully live by offering free health services and teaching life skills to people who just need to make money to survive.

There's another branch that serves the homeless (called Living Grace) by giving them a place to store their belongings, beds and meals. Living Works teaches those who come out of poor townships how to survive. There's even a group of people called Life Skills Educators who "sponsors" children and youth across townships and teach them. (I'll talk more about that later.)

But on day one, we got a small glimpse of Living Works at the Educare Center--a place where all the kids (usually of those involved in Living Works) who can't afford school go--that's set in the heart of a township called Masiphumelele. (That's pronounced like mas-e-pooh-ma-lay-lee, which I only add because I’m one of those people who would keep trying to figure it out). Masi is one major township that Living Hope serves in. When we walked into their classroom today, they were learning how to brush their teeth. Crazy, huh?

For me, even a year later, what they do is so amazing. I used to be that person who didn't know what I wanted out of life because I loved so many things. Homelessness and HIV/AIDS movements being two of them. Children being another, though a year ago that was still pretty minute (aka denial) in my head, almost nothing. In ONE DAY I found a place that served all my passions. All of them. It made me realize that maybe, just maybe, they could all work together somehow. Even as I reflect and write this I get chills. Why can't we do this in America--have one places that serves every need in our community? The things that would change...


A year ago today, it was starting. Those moments of life-change that are so small you can't even see them until it's a year later. I know I still can't. It's crazy how we do things without thinking--and how those things completely wreck our lives. That's not always a bad thing. It wasn't for me.

If you want to follow the team that's there now, you can do it here.

2.22.2011

A Year Ago I Left

A year ago today, I was packing a bag for South Africa. For months I'd planned, worried about money to pay for it, and questioned why I wanted to go, but on this day one year ago, I was restless. Waiting. Stuck in between here and there. I was excited, but it was different. It was a calming excitement that I can't possibly explain unless you've felt it.

The people I went with are headed there right now--at this exact moment they're waiting in the Nashville airport to go again. I'm not; I'm nannying in Boston and drinking coffee. It's a weird feeling, knowing that they're going to visit the wonderful kiddos we saw, see the gorgeous country and check in on the people we served and met. And me, I'm sitting here.

It's crazy where life can go in a year. I'm sure I'll say the same thing next year for other reasons that I can't see now. I definitely never planned to be here a year ago. Boston? Blogging? Writing? You would've been crazy to say that to me. I don't make a lot of life plans, but those were big, unheard of, scary words to me a year ago.

I'm telling you about South Africa because that trip was one of those moments you can pinpoint as something that puts your life on course. I've never really told this story on my blog. It's a huge, enormous story that needs to be told. So, I'll be posting things over the next couple weeks about where I was a year ago. There may be some double posts each day because I didn't plan on doing this--but now I am. I hope you like the story. The end is pretty awesome.

A year ago, I worked as an intern at a church. It was a hard time. I didn't love it, didn't even like it, but it was what I did. I also worked at Borders (one of the unfortunate ones that's closing and I am so sad for my family there). I kept busy between the two. Work and intern. I liked work; I hating interning from the very first day. Each day was a struggle. Each task was more horrible than the one before. I missed college. I wanted to leave every single day but I had nowhere to go and nothing else I wanted to do.

The important thing for today to know is: a year ago I went to South Africa. I had no expectations, no clue of who I was, no idea what I was really, really passionate about. A year ago I went because I had this urge in my heart and my gut that said it was where I needed to be. I've never been a girl who wanted to go overseas--but I've always been a girl who listened to my gut, who acted on whims even though I hate them, who did what I felt I needed to do regardless of everyone else. That's just me. When I left for South Africa, I even went regardless of my fears.

When I came back from South Africa...well, I was a lot smarter, a lot more in tune with life, a lot more everything. You'll hear that story in a couple weeks.

A year ago today I was waiting to go to South Africa. I had no idea what I'd find there. It's completely like everything in my life, like writing, like reading an awesome book: there was a lot of a trouble and a lot of good to come.

2.03.2011

The Blogger/Writer Dilemma

There's been a bunch of stuff circulating around today about aspiring writers and negative book reviews. (My friend Jami at YA Addict really breaks it down.) I really enjoy sharing my love for books on this blog--so I will continue to do so.  I wanted everyone to know that nothing is changing here.



I mean...

I already don't rate books.

I've only posted like 2 negative reviews--and they're staying because they're already posted.

If I have so-so feelings about a book, I'll keep telling you what I liked and what I didn't.

I feel most of my reviews tend to be recommendations anyway.

Giveaways, interviews, discussions, birthdays, reveals, writing dilemmas, life....it's still happening here.

I hope that's cool with everyone. Keep hanging out. And reading! If the blogs you read start changing, then respect that. There are tons of blogs who will keep giving reviews that go both ways. Here are a few from the top of my head:

Story Siren
Ticket to Anywhere
ReadingTeen
Overflowing Shelf
A Tale of Many Reviews
The Book Cellar
Good Books and Good Wine

Also, while I have your attention---if you've read Sean Griswold's Head by Lindsay Leavitt OR if you're super excited about it, leave a comment here with your email so you can be part of sekrit project!

2.01.2011

Passion is stronger than fear

I've been dragging my feet with this novel. I love this novel. It frustrates me, makes me feel, makes me smile. I love my MC and my occasional (ok, more often than not) utter confusion at what the heck is going on. I love when I write a scene and then have to stop because...what the heck just happened?! And why didn't I think of that before?! I love when I overcome a hurdle. When my girl gets what she's after. When people get slapped around or kissed or cry. I like the feelings that come with writing this novel. 

I've been dragging my feet because sometimes, it's easier to ignore the fact that my outline has changed twenty times and my characters keep going where I don't want them to go. And my word is count is so high I want to hyperventilate. And sometimes, just sometimes, I don't know what to say. 
I started brainstorming and developing and writing this beast in September. I wrote 50,000 words during NaNo. I've spent the last two months running from it, or poking a thousand words a week because "I was busy." I wasn't busy. I was lazy. I was lazy and I was terrified. 

It's hard for me to admit that I'm terrified--but I am. I'm terrified that someday someone other than my CP will read it and they will hate it. Hate it. I don't want to NOT be good enough. I don't want to feel like the worst writer in the world. I don't want someone I love and admire to hate my book. I was so terrified that I didn't even want to admit it myself. Until last night, I didn't even know that fear was in me. 

When did that happen? 

A year ago I was fearless. I was ready. I wanted to share my stories with everyone. I wanted to write--because I needed to write, needed to say something. When did that change to fear? I'm not sure. Maybe it's always been there, hidden underneath the surface. 

I read this quote last night...
Passion is complex. Like the passion flower, many layers, many elements must come together to inspire intense emotions in us... To find our passion, we must face our fears, we must be brave, willing to look into our souls to see what interests and drives us, what nurtures us and inspires us to action. What is so important to us that it is worth our risking our fortunes and even our lives to attain?
For me, writing is one of those passions. The problem is that I'd been living as if it was my only passion. I'd put so much weight on that--so much pressure--that it was become less of a joy and more of a "I have to do this." What would happen to me if I never succeed? If I never get an agent or publish a novel? What will I do?

I read some blog posts last night. Two, actually, that I loved. One was from Natalie Whipple and one was the Sara Zarr notes. You should read them both. I read those and had to stop everything. I logged off twitter, logged of facebook, shut down my computer, unplugged my TV--and was still. I thought. I journaled. I prayed. I cried so much. 
In the end, I realized I was so scared of failing that it was paralyzing me. It kept me from trusting in my faith. In my writing. In others. In life.  In my hope. In myself. That's a hard feeling--to know that you are so scared you stop. I stopped trying to writing, trying to find a job I could enjoy, stopped wanting the good things. I even didn't apply to grad school because I was scared of not being good enough.

I don't want to be scared.

I want to create. I want to write. I want to find a job that I could really enjoy. I want to set down roots, to make solid relationships, to live in my community and not just in my head. I'm ready to be a full person. I'm ready to try. To send out queries without the fear of rejection, to share this without worry of people hating it. I'm going to apply to grad school--even though it will be hard and I may struggle.  In the struggling comes the learning. In the learning comes the joy. In the joy comes the passion and the will to make it happen. I won't live a life of fear. I won't be defeated. 

I'm sure I'll be scared as I continue. Fear is part of what makes us human. But I won't let my passions be hidden behind my fear. I'm not that girl; I don't know when I became her but she's not staying.

Now...I will finish this novel. As the end of this marks the end of my fear.

1.14.2011

Stuck in the Snow: a poem

It's no secret that I write. I mean, that's half the purpose of this blog. It's a huge part of my life and right now, I'm in a rut. I told a friend today I was a car stuck in the snow, my wheels spinning and me yelling for help but unable to move. Then, I came home and wrote this poem. Now, I'm not a poet--I write fiction. But, there is a special place to me made for poetry. It was how started in middle school (poems and really bad songs that I thought were amazing.) I find that when I'm most lost or in need of direction or a place to vent, I turn to poetry.

I thought that since I can't really share any piece of my novels here (not smart with the wanting-to-be-published thing), I could at least share this. This is a step for me--so don't tell me it sucks. It very well may. And some of the rhymes don't line up--but ironically I didn't know it rhymed until my second read-though. That was not intentional. Anyway, read on. Maybe you will understand it.

That is, after all, why we write it. To share it and to have someone else understand it.

*PS. One bad comment and I close the commenting. I'm not in a place to handle that.  It's definitely a "say something nice or nothing at all" kind of post.


Stuck in the Snow

Spinning, spinning, stuck in place
All these questions yelled in space.
Can't find answers in the silence
Plead my heart out, verge of violence.

Sighing, sighing, can't move away
All these feelings wrapped in dismay.
Can't see the sunlight and the path is gone
Eyes are closing, need the dawn.

Screaming, screaming, no one to hear
All these steps that brought me near.
Can't move forward and can't move back,
Don't know how, this is what I lack.

Seeking, seeking, set me free
All these hopes of who I'm meant to be.
Can't live my life completely alone,
It's not mine, but yours to own.

Waiting, waiting, here I am,
All these words from a battered man.
Can't move, can't live, can't see, can't find
Heart is empty, broken, here--ready for redesign.

1.10.2011

My 2011 Goals

My only resolution for the year: Make 2011 awesome.

Instead of making New Year's Resolutions that I forget about in a couple weeks, I decided to make some goals that I would hope to achieve in 2011--and some monthly resolutions, which I'm calling challenges. I like that word better. Not everything is ironed out yet but most of it is, so I thought I should post it. I like accountability! :)

2011 Goals
Things I want to work on all year!
  • Write! I want to finish this WIP and write at one-two more. 
  • Read. I'd like to read 100 books--12 of which will be classics.
  • Be more intentional. This includes personally, spiritually and blogger-ly, especially by commenting on EVERY post I read. It's all about support! (Thanks to Gail & Erica for the idea!)
  • David Tennant. I want to watch everything he stars in that I can get my hands on. He's brilliant. (I mean, I named my nook after him.)
  • Try. Do at least one new thing every month.
  • Be joyful. Everything I do is purposeful, fun and uplifting. I want to be happy and positive, not let things get me down. Be content all around. 
And, a side not for '11, since I only have limited control. The Elevensies. Get as many to sign my nook case as possible--the perfect marker of The Year of Awesome/new decade.

Monthly Challenges
Each month I will pick one of these to focus on. They aren't designated to a month yet--since I won't know what month I can/need to work on what. So, when I figure that out, I will inform you!
  • Write every day. I don't do this like I should. So, as inspired by NaNoWriMo, I want a copy month in which I write x amount of words every day! When I do this, I'll offer it up & see if anyone else wants to join. It's a good discipline that I don't follow as I should.
  • Read YA staples. I haven't been in YA long. And, because of that, I've missed out on a lot of major YA staple books and authors. I'll spend a whole month reading people like John Green, Meg Cabot, Neil Gaiman, Susane Colasanti, Elizabeth Scott, Sarah Dessen, Jennifer Echols. When the time comes, I'll probably ask you for some suggestions.
  • Journal month. I used to journal ALL THE TIME. I mean, I still have some from middle school. It's a habit I want to get back into. So, I'm going to dedicate a month to it.
  • Month of prayer. Yall, I am a bad pray-er. So, I figured I'd try to spend a month intentionally doing just that. This year is about self-improvement and challenges and this is both of those things.
  • Be healthy month. I know, I know...health is ongoing. But I don't know basics. I have a friend who does--eating and exercise--and I want to learn. Maybe a month isn't long but I have to start somewhere!
  • No TV month. *gasp!* I know. I watch a lot of tv...too much. So, at some point this year, I'll spend a whole month without it. Think of all I'll get accomplished! *gulps*

That's six months--half the year. It's a good place to start. I figure everything will line up at some point. I can say that the only month I have nailed down is January: Survive!

After experiencing 1/4 of it, I can say that's going to be tough!

What about you? What are some things that you have planned for the year?

12.06.2010

Questioning Freedom



Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is freedom.

It's a word we toss around a lot, especially in the US, since our country was founded on it. (Even my faith was founded in it.)  Countries have fought for it. People have died for it. Suffered for it. Searched for it. And when those without obtain it, it changes everything.

Undeniably, freedom is a big deal. It affects everything. 


My character is on this search for freedom. She had a glimpse of it and then she fought for it--and is in the midst of it. It's not for herself; it's for everyone else.  The thing I'm wondering is....after 63,000 words and the end still far away...what does freedom look like?


Obviously, it's this instant change. This feeling. This, in some cases, actuality is life-changing. It affects everything: the way you think, feel, look, operate, your motives, actions. The thing I am finding now--which may very well be because I'm over-thinking, wondering, examining--is how that affects Neely. 


I think I should have experience in freedom, that I should know what it feels like. I don't, though. Not entirely. I carry around so many of things that I should be free from. So then, how do I get my character to translate that feeling on the page?


Short answer: I have no idea. 


Longer answer: I imagine it's me. I imagine her freedom as the feeling I'd experience and then make it happen on the page. Because surely, my view of freedom is a little accurate. At least I hope. 

I really like that image up there. I love the green in contrast to the blue, blue sky. To me, that is freedom. I hope to pull in an image like that to help me understand what she is feeling when  she experiences freedom.

And, since this is called "Questioning Freedom"......What is freedom to you?

10.10.2010

Apologies (aka. The reasons for not blogging this week)

1. I am on "vacation"---which is really a fancy way of saying I'm out of town. I had a wedding and needed to get away so I did. It's been so good. Two days left--and travel home. So, I'm gone until Thursday.

2. I've been editing on this vacation. Hard copy edits. Last one. Let's all take a moment to rejoice! *inhale/exhale* Moment over. I'm not half done yet--and then I have to change everything on the computer. Not much time left and quite a bit to fix.

3. I like to read.

4. Friends are the best part of vacations---especially when you haven't seen them in a few months. It's been just wonderful and refreshing. I'm ready to go home now though...

5. YA Spooktacular. Wow. It's going to be awesome and it's sure been busy planning. We'll be posting some more information early next week. TONS of ways to win really awesome prizes. You should go follow Khelsea to stay in the loop, too. It's good to be prepared.

6. Um. I don't have a six. I just dislike odd numbers. :)

9.24.2010

Welcome to Crazy Town.

And no, I don't mean that weird mini-series that NBC had this summer.

I mean my day three.

It is day three without my computer and my car. I miss them both. Tremendously. My computer WAY more than my car. The library, while awesome, comes with restrictions. For example, one hour. I have one hour for computer use. It takes me that long to get focused but I do what I must. I can wait and log back in...but it's 180 minutes. 180 minutes. That's three hours. Yea, it sucks in all sorts of ways. The other negative thing, no privacy. AND no way to access my external. This is the downfall of having a Mac in a PC world (at least, the library world.) In Crazy Town, everyone will have a Mac. Heck, they will have two--just in case.

I mean my brain.

It's crazy. In a good, overly-obsessive and sometimes crowded way.

I wrote the most incredible scene yesterday. Really. You can ask my CP (who's also having a signed Mockingjay giveaway on her blog!) It was random and further into my WIP than I actually am. Truthfully, I had only somewhat envisioned the things that happened before it in my plotting outline when I wrote it. I didn't even mean to write it. It was a line at work on Wednesday and then a page I wrote by hand (since my computer is still in the hospital) and then a "quick trip to the library to type this up." Five hours later, I went to work. Obviously, things don't happen like we plan.

We plan anyway. And plot. And hope.

And sometimes, by chance, we write the most incredible scene. I had to stop at one point and walk around. My heart was racing and my mind was so far into the story, that I could feel what my MC was feeling. It's good when that happens--incredible actually--but it's also the huge reality that this is a "real" story. A "real" person with emotions, desires, conflicts, issues. A person who's limping around bleeding bodies in a corn field. (Wait...what? Nothing. Continue on and ignore that *whistles*)  They are fictional but they are so real to the writer--and if the writer is good, then to the reader too.

That is crazysauce, the number one dish in Crazy Town. I hear it takes like coffee ice cream. It must be awesome.

Though I want to, I haven't made permanent  residence in Crazy Town yet. I'm on the outskirts, inching toward the light, my bag on my back. It is appealing though. The smells, the crazysauce, the characters, the cornfields. It's bright and loud and full of others who have a life there.  I hear they have Macs there...



*Also, totally off subject but I love this post. 
**And this makes me laugh (the part about the muffins...lol)
***And did anyone see Grey's Anatomy? Oy vey. I need talking to friends about my shows.