10.25.2010

The Slump

I've been in a slump lately. All month really. It's come and gone--but mostly it's stayed. It started with reading--nothing I liked even if I wanted to, no motivation to do it. Then it was edits and then writing. Then it's been work and waking up, and wondering if Boston will ever bring me friends that I can call to see Harry Potter with. My car died, my computer died (and got fixed! praise!), my cell phone shattered and the reading--did i mention the reading?

I'm not really sure what to do about it but I'm ready for it to leave for good. It's affecting everything, this thing that started as a single item (reading) and has somehow morphed to envelope multiple parts of my life. That got me thinking, "What does slump really mean?" So I looked on dictionary.com. These are the definitions I liked.  (Stick with me. I swear I have a point...and I'm not complaining. Swear.)
Slump
–verb (used without object)
1. to drop or fall heavily; collapse
2. to decline or deteriorate, as health, business, quality, or efficiency.
5. to sink into a bog, muddy place, etc., or through ice or snow.
6. to sink heavily, as the spirits.
–noun
7. a decrease, decline, or deterioration.
8. a period of decline or deterioration.
9. a period during which a person performs slowly, inefficiently, or ineffectively, esp. a period during which an athlete or team fails to play or score as well as usual.
10. a landslide or rockslide
I love these definitions; some of them are self-explanatory. Some of them don't really make sense in this context. But wait, they do. Let me explain. I picked #1 because that's what I want to do: collapse to the floor and cry, give up on everything, walk away. Then, #5: to sink into a bog, muddy place, etc., or through ice or snow. I have this expression that I've said since middle school. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning and fighting, fighting to the surface but never making fully making it. When I read that, I had to keep it around. I've never associated the two but there it is in black and white. 

#6. to sink heavily, as the spirits. I'm not really sure what that's supposed to mean, but I call it discouragement. Sometimes, when you are in a slump, you don't have the energy to get out of it. The disappointments of not being able to do whatever you are trying makes you sink further down. #7-8 are basically the same but I like the notation that it's a period of and not forever. Sometimes it can feel like forever. 

I like the example in #9 more than the definition: "a period during which an athlete or team fails to play or score as well as usual." I can't read/write/find motivation as well as usual. Usually, it's all like breathing. It's part of me and I am lost without it. But this month-long slump is getting to me. Again, that this definition says it's a period.

Ok, those make sense now...but #10? A landslide or rockslide? Think of it as a shift. Things move from where they were and go somewhere else. It's a shift in foundation, in believe, in action. It makes people react, think, figure out a solution, wait. It's the process of seeing what will happen when everything is cleaned up because eventually, it will be cleaned up. Things will return where they are supposed to be and it will be a new day. The slump will be over. That will be a GOOD day. And on that day, that very good day that hopefully will come soon, #11 will happen.
11. New England Cookery: a dessert made with cooked fruit, esp. apples or berries, topped with a thick layer of biscuit dough or crumbs.

Why? Because it sounds like a great way to celebrate the end of a slump. Although, I don't know how to make that....maybe it will be a cupcake instead.

1 comment:

  1. The reading slump I know about, it usually strikes me after I've read an amazing series, then I can't ever get into another book for a while.
    I'm sending long distance hugs since I'm not there and I hope you come out of your slump soon.

    PS the desert looks yum!

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