Sometimes you write a book...

Sometimes you write a book and you freaking love it. I mean, love it. It's your heart and your soul and you're proud of it.

Then you send it out into the world and learn that some things need to better. Big things that make a lot of sense, but you're not really sure how to fix them. You want to, but you're too attached.

So you step away from it until you have the eyes to fix it.

And then you get an opinion or two on how to fix it. Maybe workshop it or let people read it or whatever.

And then you fix it. And you had all these doubts about whether the changes would work or not--but they do! This is so good. This is awesome.

But it's not awesome.

Because the things you "fixed" really slow the story down. Changing the whole timeline, really does change the whole story. And now you have to face the fact that at least half of what you wrote will be GONE. Scary right? It is. But it has to be done.

Even scarier? You still have to figure out how to fix the story, how to make it the best it can be. But you have to figure it out alone. There's not someone telling you what's not working. Sometimes there are four and they are all very different opinions.

But in the end, it's you figuring it out. You and the characters and the story.

Sometimes you write a book...and then you revise a book...and rewrite a book...and rewrite it again. And hope, that in the end, it turns out to be something fantastic.

Sometimes that's what writing a book is like. It's not fun. It's hard and exhausting. But it's all about learning, about trying, about failing and trying again.

....

And when you finish, you get to start all over again. Every day. Until you die. Because no matter how frustrating it is. No matter how lonely it is. It's something you have to do because writing is part of you. 

This is my current place in life. Anyone else with me??